Missing Sonny

It's going on 5 a.m. and I have been up with my girl, Kelsey for about a half an hour. Her timing sucks considering I woke up at 2:30 and only began to fall asleep when she decided to start whimpering to go outside. But I smiled at her as she barked by her food dish in anticipation for her midnight (Or in this case, early morning) snack. She's officially old and her clock is off. She has to go out more than usual and that means some inconveniences for me, but I can't get upset with her. I'm cherishing every moment I have with her. So, my MO -- While Kelsey wanders around with a full belly making herself tired again, I sit at my computer and catch up on work or whatever outstanding email I have in my inbox.

Tonight (or now this morning) I was looking for a particular piece of clip art for our monthly newsletter (Due pretty much now.) when I came across a photo of Sonny. Sonny is our family dog, adopted by my mom not long after Kelsey came into my life (Which was 14 years ago). Sadly, we lost Sonny (aka Frupe-a-roon, Froopdy, and Sun-Bun) about two weeks ago. He was as much a part of the family as any of my siblings. Loved and pampered to the point of being spoiled, but still very much adored and obviously very missed. It's hard not to get choked up when looking at this face and remembering how he'd paw at you while making this funny little cuh-cuh-cuh noise when he wanted to play.



It's amazing how these little buggers worm their way into your heart and how hard it is to let them go or even imagine life without them. Mom swears she'll never adopt another - that she can't go through the loss. I tend to think differently. Faced with Kelsey's old age I know that I could never replace her anymore than we could replace Sonny. But it's not about replacement is it. It's about opening your heart to the unconditional love of an animal and giving as much to them as they give to you in return. For me, life without an animal would be incomplete, much like making a decision not to have a permanent human mate. For some that's a fitting choice. For me it's a lonely existence. I realize it's hard to get passed the pain, and believe me I'm still dealing with the loss of Sonny in my own way. Tears still fall frequently and probably always will when I think about him. But none of that overpowers the cherished memories and the experience of that reciprocal love.