What's With This Epilstop Schtuff?

Am I the only one that can't seem to use depilatories properly? I'm not sure WHAT my issue is, but I swear these things do NOT work on me. And they certainly don't wipe off super nice and clean like on those cruddy info-mercials. Sure, like I'm supposed to believe that guy gets the crud spread on his leg and poof... the hair has disappeared in mere seconds. Yeah right!

So, there's me balancing precariously on the side of the tub with this gunk slathered all over my legs, afraid to move. Ten minutes feels like an eternity when your bored to tears staring at the ring in your tub and realizing that any attempt to be productive by cleaning will result in your accidentally rubbing your legs together thus removing a good portion of the hair dissolving lotion. Yet I still wind up with what looks akin to male pattern baldness and still find myself razor in hand at the end of the process!

And as for their "Pleasant cucumber and melon scent". Yack... Horrible!!! No matter how you try and mask it, it still smells like a bad home perm! Again... beauty is pain!