Casting Shadows

He is a shadow.
Birthed by daylight.
Spread across the mind and heart.
He is illusive.
Drifting in unison with the dawdling time.
An apparition masking a cool grayed surface.

He vanishes with the darkness.
A memory. A whisper.
Yet sustaining light keeps its promise.
He returns with radiance
Casting shadows of his own.

Acceptable Behavior?

I've been all up in my head about this recently and the more I think on it, the more annoyed I become. I would like to know when it became socially acceptable to maul and manhandle a woman. When did sexual assault become appropriate behavior? In the span of three weeks I've had an old guy attempt to grind up on my backside through my clothes on a dance floor in Tampa, and just the other night I had not one, not two, but THREE men, with absolutely no provocation on my part, grab me and smash their lips against mine!

When having conversations with various people about this, I've received everything from analogies that compare men to dogs and women to bologna; That I should wear burlap when I go out; That most people can't handle their liquor; and my favorite -- I shouldn't go out by myself.

All jokes aside, I don’t care how drunk you are--I'm fairly certain somewhere you learned simple manners. You know this is just WRONG! Further, my choice of attire (which was not skanky I assure you) and whether or not I'm attractive and/or arrive to a bar un-escorted, should not equate to my being held responsible for the actions of some obnoxious letches, that given better reaction time on my part would all be undergoing testicle retrieval surgery at this very moment!

Someone to watch over me...

I never realized one person could produce so much snot. My head is stuffy, my ears are plugged and my lungs are wheezing. It's a beautiful site. I attempted to work out yesterday and succeded in nearly passing out on the ellipitcal and smacking myself in the head with a free weight. I was told by Dr. Ryan that I need to rest. Rest is the answer. I realize this, but I've never been much of a lay-about. So when I'm curled up on the sofa with nothing but the "Dead Like Me" DVD series and a box of Kleenex to comfort me, all I can think of is the laundry list of things that need done. And then I feel sorry for myself.

Being independent and all -- and for all intents and purposes living alone most of the time -- I'm not one to ask for help. And I'm too "grown up" to call for my mommy (and even if I did she lives three states away). But damnit! I want someone to run me a hot bath, bring me a cup of tea, deliver my meds with a glass of water and a kiss on the forehead. Someone to wrap me in a warm embrace while I fall blissfully into a cold-med-induced coma. "Someone take care of me!" she whines with a big pouty lip for effect.

Bad Idea

I love my family. So when faced with a pseudo slumber party evening of movie watching with my mom and sister, I was all for it--Despite their hacking and coughing. I figured, yeah, I'll probably wind up with this shit... Considering I was sandwiched in the middle of them on the bed... But at the time I just didn't care. Mmm hmmm, I'm currently sneezing, stuffy headed and my body aches. Yeah I'm attempting to put my butt to bed early tonight.
Goodnight world!

Mother Ocean

The pungent salty smell is the first to attack the senses, causing an immediate clearing of the mind. Breathing in deeply as the sea air expands the lungs…Exhale to expel the remnants of the city. Soft white sand creeps between toes as the music of crashing waves hints of her serenity. Gulls squawk their song in response while darting away from foamy breaks along the shore. Her mist clings to downy hair and eyelashes like morning dew on blades of grass. She wreaks havoc on my long mane, creating unruly curls while a perfume of brine covers my skin. Answering her call, I dip my feet into her wetness, her breeze tickling my soul. Walking forward submerging feet, then ankles…Shins…Knees…Thighs…Hastily I dive ahead, skimming just under the surface before rolling onto my back beyond reach of the punishing waves. Her density supports me as I float weightless over the continually swelling, saline surface. She claims me with her tender embrace, allowing me to taste of her energy, experiencing her blissful freedom.

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

Best New Year Wish

Not unlike my Best Christmas Wish (below), I got a call from my baby brother, currently stationed in Iraq. In our own loving style the conversation started like such... "Happy New Year Fugger!" "Happy New Year to you too Fugger!" Hey, he and I get the joke and that's what counts! Miss you "Vlar" be safe!

You Say You Want A Resolution...

A resolution this is NOT. I'm fairly adverse to the concept of New Years Resolutions. It's my stance that if you have to make a resolution to accomplish a goal, it's probably something you should have been doing long before the new year crept up on you--So stop making excuses, get off your tookus and get it done. Another of my reasoning…The simple act of proclamation is generally an automatic set up for failure (unless of course you plan on attending the meetings…"Hello, my name is Kimmie and I'm a blogaholic".) No, this is a simple observation brought on by another year's passage and growing yet another year older. Yeah, yeah, Happy freakin' Birthday to me.

Let me start here, with a premise that I am not one to live my life by the stars, palm reading and/or horoscopes, but I figured I might as well toss it into the mix, no? So, my horoscope indicates that "Personal priorities are important -- you've always known that. But the trick is sorting out what you want from what you need. Fortunately for you, right now you've got the instinct and insight to do just that. Figure out what's essential for you when it comes to relationships, and be flexible on the rest. Not only will that broaden your options, but paradoxically, it will ensure that your standards remain high."

What's really kind of funny here is that I've been going through this "thing"… Who are my true friends? Who can I depend on? I've had a really strange year filled with some not-particularly-wonderful-happenings. As a result, I've come to be reminded that life is too short to waste energy on false friends (not only that but heartbreak in all its forms is a S.O.B). I know this sounds like that sweet-tempered part of me, the gal that gets along with anyone and will have a conversation with a shrub if it's willing to listen, has been killed off. That’s not true. I still entertain the idea of new friends and fostering relationships; I'm just going to be more discerning. It's about quality not quantity. And enriching one another's lives. Ahhh the wonder of reciprocity!

Best Christmas Gift EVER

I just received one of the best Christmas presents EVER. A phone call from my brother in Iraq! How much do I love that the conversation started with him saying "Merry Christmas Fugger!" (In Kevin Style) -- That rocks! Almost felt like he was right here! God I miss him like you can't imagine!

Self Affirmations

She has a friendly face. Her smile brightens up a room.
Always willing to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on.
Supportive even if she doesn’t always agree with you.
Faithful to a fault and ready to take a bullet for those she truly cares about.
She's generous and genuine. She doesn’t know how to tell a lie.
She cries when she's really happy, sad or angry, but is far from being a whiner or a crybaby. She's much tougher than she's given credit for.
Adversity only makes her stronger.
While she doesn't trust easily, if you're lucky enough to get in, you'll find her heart resting tentative on her sleeve. Break it and you'll have to work hard to get back in.
She believes in second chances but will never be your doormat.
Her biggest heartbreaks are deceit, betrayal and game playing.
You don't have to guess what's on her mind. Ask and she'll tell you.
She never makes promises she can't keep.
She lives her life for herself and those close to her, not for what the world might think.
She laughs easily (especially at dumb jokes) and her laughter is contagious.
She's the kind of person that enriches your life.
She is me.

How to make a Kimmie

Ingredients: 5 parts intelligence 1 part crazyiness 3 parts leadership

Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Top it off with a sprinkle of lovability and enjoy!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

And the hits just keep on coming...

I'm not sure what it is about this time of year. I have quite a few friends that have lost loved ones around Thanksgiving. People seem to go MIA. It's cold and crappy and we're all moody. (Or is that just me and everyone I am close to). And to make things worse, my little brother, who is so much younger than me I look at him almost as a son -- the boy who calls me at least three times a week -- one of my best friends... He just left for Iraq... More worms for me please!

Love Actually

I just got done watching the film "Love Actually" again. It was on when I stopped for a lunch break. I dunno what it is about this movie that get's me... It's just such a great flick. And that little boy Sam looking up at Liam saying "Lets go get the shit kicked out of us by love!" It's just good stuff man!

Happy Thanksgiving

I'm having the fam. here for Thanksgiving... Pray I don't burn the house down (actually I'm not a bad cook, I just have a habit of setting things on fire). Anyway here is my Thanksgiving Greeting. Not sure what it is I find so amusing about this but it makes me giggle hard!

Boys are Stupid

For those of you that have had the pleasure of being in the vicinity of my person (either in the flesh, or virtually) you'll know that my latest mantra is "Boys are Stupid". Leave it to ya'll to prove my point: I rest my case.

Girly Girl My Butt!

I'm sitting on the sofa yesterday and I've got my laptop perched in front of me, all set to get some work done. I feel this tickle on my hand and I notice this little piss-ant (Technical term for those tiny little nuisance brown ants that go after sugar). I brush it off thinking... Where there is one... Yup, the suckers are feasting on my one true indulgence -- $30 per pound Godiva Milk Chocolate Raspberry Starfish, which I purchased with the intention of savoring one a day! The ants seem to agree as they've created a trail from the box, down the table leg, across the floor and under the baseboard. Needless to say I whipped up the box, which had been sitting on the coffee table for less than 48 hours, and I rushed to the sink where I began to blow the ants off each piece of chocolate, one by one, before transferring to a zip lock bag.

And the question is... Despite my dislike for insects, will I still eat the chocolate? Heck yeah!!!

I'm a Junkie

She walks through the airport lounge with a glass of wine in one hand and her laptop balanced in the other. Wireless signal strength 86%…No joy! Continually rescanning the area hoping for enough juice to simply check her mail, she quickly becomes frustrated.

61%…Crap!
46%…Damnit!
She circles back to where she began.
Check mail.
Connection lost.

"Why am I putting myself through this!?!?" She asks herself, knowing that the answer lies in her withdraws from the last three days of Internet access free living – Not by choice. She wonders how she could possibly feel so cut off from the world while having spent the last seventy-two hours running ragged through one of the most bustling cities in the world. It's official. I'm an Internet junkie. This is what happens when you force everyone in your life to become accustomed to communicating with you through email and/or IM and when you've built an online business. You become dependant and then find yourself in situations such as these...

Teetering on one foot, holding the computer high…
Oh hey I think I just got a 91%!

As the day continues...

Yeah, those zen-like moments can only last a short while before I begin contemplating the Religion of Vino!

The Religion of Coffee

The brisk morning air causes an involuntary shiver. I wrap my fingers around a tall coffee, enfolding it in my hands like a precious gift. Heat creeps through my palms and into sleepy digits while I pause, embracing the anticipation, before raising cup to mouth. Pressing eager lips to the rim, the soothing aroma awakens the sinuses as steam flutters across my skin. Gingerly sucking in the too-hot liquid, I am mindless of the slightly seared tongue. Instead, my focus remains centered on the lifeblood radiating down my throat, to my belly and stealing into my limbs with heady affection. The remainder will be consumed in an involuntary act, but for this moment, my entire being is enlightened, comforted…sustained. With this, I begin the day in a hopeful, Zen-like calm.

Walking Contradiction

Picture this if you will: A small town fair, dubbed as "Autumn Fest", complete with a Bavarian Oompah Ooompah band, local crafters, the smell of greasy funnel cakes, hot dogs, and fresh squeezed lemonade, with me...clad in shorts, multi colored floral combat boots, and a black shirt adorned with little skulls and cross bones spelling out my favorite complimentary close, "xoxo" and the words "Hugs and Kisses" underneath the design. Yeah, I blend...