Who Loves You Baby

"Gentleman." I heard that word tossed around more than once during his funeral. "He was a real gentleman." they said. And, it's true - there are not many people like him left in the world today. He never had an unkind word to say towards or about anyone, and he'd give a stranger the shirt of his back if they needed it. He worked hard as a carpenter his entire life, and even after retirement he would mow lawns, do yard work, and handy man tasks. He was a devout Catholic and it brought him tremendous joy when any of his family would attend mass along with him. He was the epitome of an English Gentleman in look and mannerism with a strong accent and sense of propriety. His favorite past-time was watching sports, however my fonder memories include him kicked back in his lounge chair with me laying on the living room floor in front of him as we took in episodes of Kung Fu and Kojack on blistering Florida summer afternoons. He'd always greet me with an enthusiastic "Who loves you baby?" to which I'd gleefully shout "You do Gramps!" and a bear hug would result. Often he'd slip me an old-fashioned English toffee, Chicklets gum, or rise to retrieve a coffee can full of change from the hall closet that he'd been saving just for me. He loved his family and his wife tremendously, and even as death greeted him his main concern was that each detail of his Will, ensuring his wife would be properly taken care of, was covered to a T. He passed quietly with the majority of his family around him and his daughter holding his hand until the very end. A peaceful death if ever there was one, for a peaceful, kind and loving man. On the eve of his funeral the family passed around a glass of J&B Whiskey and we took turns sipping the lethal fluid--Honoring him by partaking in one of his favorite vices - a single belt of the amber-colored liquid after each evening meal. During the funeral a butterfly swooped in while my mom was doing her reading, it circled around her head, fluttered around the inside of the gazebo and remained throughout the service. "Gramps was here visiting" I said. My sister-in-law corrected me, "They say that whenever there is a butterfly around, there are angels around you."

Who loves you baby!

What a year...aka Kimmie's Absence

Okay I know I've been MIA, but this is through no fault of my own.

Not only have I been in the middle of getting organized for the fall semester (Yes, I've decided to go back to school.) but in between all this, my grandfather took ill, I went to Florida for two weeks to help out because they didn't think he was going ot make it and my mom has been having health issues of her own. I arrived to find out that my Nana had been sleeping for two days straight and when she came to she didn't know who she was, where she was, or who any of her family members were. We were informed by a Hospice doctor that she had dementia and that she didn't have long to live (Mind you no tests had been administered to discover this fact). Meanwhile grandpa started to do much better and his outlook was good.

Within a few days Nana was doing much better and her dementia was first explained away by a urinary tract infection, only to be informed later that she had a TIA (mini stroke). Meanwhile we find out that grandpa has an infection in his pacemaker, he only has 20% use of his heart and his options are limited.

After two weeks of up and downs similar to this, I came home to await the inevitable - My grandfather's death and funeral. After not having been home a week I was back on a plane the next day to attend his funeral on Friday.

It is now Wednesday (not quite a week later) and I'm just NOW getting caught up on everything that needed to be done around here (catching up on email, work stuff, laundry is still piled high and my suit case is yet to be unpacked... sad...)

So that's where I've been! Fun no???

Yes it's Summer!

It's 99 degrees outside, the little gel decorations have melted on my window, the June bugs (aka Japanese Beetles) are dining on my rose bushes, I burnt the soles of my feet on the way to the mail box, and the neighbor's dog sought solace from the heat by diving into my swimming pool. Ahhh yes, it's summer in the South!

Doing it like... Bunnies...

I was out tooling around in my garden, trying to replace my underground soaker hose, cutting back a mutant strain of parsley that lived through the winter and now has stalks the size of small trees, and pruning back other vegetation. I made my way through the parsley and was about to plant a nice fresh basil when a little rodent head appeared from beneath the mulch.

Contrary to what some may believe, I'm not a big "girl" and I didn't run away screaming. Instead, I cooed in response and began to call all my friends... "I have a baby mole in my garden!"

Upon closer inspection, we didn't have "a mole" but multiple babies had taken residence next to the nutritious and delicious parsley. Being the animal lover I am, I decided to leave them where they were, and planned to spot water until they grew to adult size and would later find a humane means of transplanting them from my garden. It wasn't until later in the day when I showed the nest to a friend that the true identity of my house guests were uncovered.

They're not moles... They're baby bunnies!

When being teased about not knowning the difference between moles and bunnies I professed my desire to respect their privacy. I'm happy to report that mama comes back every evening to feed the babies and I'm giving her full reign of my garden to raise her young. (I mean hell, no one could have eaten that amount of parsley in a lifetime let alone one year! I can share!)

Memories of Kelsey

Sadly, after over 14 wonderful years (I’m told that’s 98 in dog years), being as spoiled as she possibly could, and cared for by the very best doctors and nurses, we had to say goodbye on March 21^st. While the last year seemed to show a gradual decline of the little girl everyone knew, and in her final week her spunky demeanor seemed to waiver, she never lost her charm or spark. She will linger in the minds of many for years to come as “the dog with the tongue,” and she will always be “sweet pea”, “peanut” and “baby girl.”

Pampered to the point of being spoiled, but not bratty, Kelsey had a “pup tent” and three different beds in various rooms of the house though preferred to sleep near her “mama.” She was fully in charge of the sleep schedule and would dig under the blankets, pulling them off to indicate it was time to rise. She loved to be chased on the bed and would raiser her backside in a play bow while emitting a deep grrr to initiate such encounters. She wouldn’t suffer summers without air conditioning and donned her purple furry cape when winter walks threatened to cause a shiver. She was the proud owner of a special “Dog on Tour” meal and water dish, which accompanied her on many adventures, and a walker-umbrella and raincoat to keep her dry on rainy days. Fuzzy blankets scattered the house, as did toys of many shapes and sizes, but despite all the worldly things, what she loved most was to be near her people and wouldn’t let mommy out of her site for more than a minute. She enjoyed having her soft tummy rubbed, being held and snuggled and never failed to “nuggle” in return, earning her the nickname “nuggler.” She was fond of pulling scrunchines from unsuspecting heads, her favorite time of the day was snack time, she enjoyed walkies, and knew how to beg just right—“sitting pretty” to get those coveted morsels of people food—ensuring she’d remain at least a little overweight for the bulk of her life. Seldom barking, but to demand food, treats and water or in response to the occasional door or airline alert bell, instead her mode of communication was cute little whines known as “Gremlin” or “Ewok” sounds. She loved traveling and found herself on car rides, airplanes, boats, camping and even a canoe once. She was snuck into animal-free areas via concealed carriers or duffle bags—And her most recent trip included this type of intrigue as she was secreted out to take pleasure in walks on Myrtle Beach. To say that she lived a long, full, loving and adventurous life would be an understatement. She will remain in our hearts and minds, be forever loved and dearly missed!

Oh High Oh

My cousin forwarded this me this and I thought I'd share:

A guy from Ohio dies and goes to Hell. He had been a horrible man all his life. The devil puts him to work breaking up rocks with a sledgehammer. To make it even worse, he cranks up the temperature and humidity.

After a couple of days, the devil checks in on his victim to see if he is suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as the Ohioan is happily swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune. The devil walks up to him and says "I don't understand this! I've turned the heat way up, it's
humid and you're crushing rocks. Why are you so happy?" The Ohioan, with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies, "This is great! It reminds me of August in Cleveland . Hot, humid and a good place to work. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"

The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder the Ohioan's remarks. He then decides to drop the temperature, send down a driving rain and torrential winds. Soon, Hell is a wet, muddy mess. Walking in mud up to his knees with dust blowing in his eyes, the Ohioan is happily slogging through the mud pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks.

Again, the devil asks how he can be so happy in such awful conditions. The Ohioan, with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies, "This is great! It's just like April in Cleveland. It reminds me of working out in the yard with spring planting. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"

Now the devil is completely baffled. He is more determined than ever to make the Ohioan suffer. He then makes the temperature plummet. Suddenly, Hell is blanketed in ten feet of snow and ice.

Confident that this will finally make the Ohioan unhappy, he checks in on him again. He is again aghast at what he sees! The Ohioan is dancing, singing, and twirling his sledgehammer as he cavorts in utter glee. "How can you be so happy? Don't you know it's 40 below zero?" screams the devil. Jumping up and down the Ohioan throws a snowball at the devil and yells "Hell is frozen over!! This means the Browns won the Super Bowl!! The Browns won the Super Bowl!!"

Missing Sonny

It's going on 5 a.m. and I have been up with my girl, Kelsey for about a half an hour. Her timing sucks considering I woke up at 2:30 and only began to fall asleep when she decided to start whimpering to go outside. But I smiled at her as she barked by her food dish in anticipation for her midnight (Or in this case, early morning) snack. She's officially old and her clock is off. She has to go out more than usual and that means some inconveniences for me, but I can't get upset with her. I'm cherishing every moment I have with her. So, my MO -- While Kelsey wanders around with a full belly making herself tired again, I sit at my computer and catch up on work or whatever outstanding email I have in my inbox.

Tonight (or now this morning) I was looking for a particular piece of clip art for our monthly newsletter (Due pretty much now.) when I came across a photo of Sonny. Sonny is our family dog, adopted by my mom not long after Kelsey came into my life (Which was 14 years ago). Sadly, we lost Sonny (aka Frupe-a-roon, Froopdy, and Sun-Bun) about two weeks ago. He was as much a part of the family as any of my siblings. Loved and pampered to the point of being spoiled, but still very much adored and obviously very missed. It's hard not to get choked up when looking at this face and remembering how he'd paw at you while making this funny little cuh-cuh-cuh noise when he wanted to play.



It's amazing how these little buggers worm their way into your heart and how hard it is to let them go or even imagine life without them. Mom swears she'll never adopt another - that she can't go through the loss. I tend to think differently. Faced with Kelsey's old age I know that I could never replace her anymore than we could replace Sonny. But it's not about replacement is it. It's about opening your heart to the unconditional love of an animal and giving as much to them as they give to you in return. For me, life without an animal would be incomplete, much like making a decision not to have a permanent human mate. For some that's a fitting choice. For me it's a lonely existence. I realize it's hard to get passed the pain, and believe me I'm still dealing with the loss of Sonny in my own way. Tears still fall frequently and probably always will when I think about him. But none of that overpowers the cherished memories and the experience of that reciprocal love.

Sirius-ly Not

After long contemplation, I've decided to nix Sirus radio. Much of the content I've found while at first blush was "different", the repetitive nature left the same-old-radio-format feeling in my mouth. I want variety! There are enough artists out there, with enough different songs that you don't have to play the same artists and the same songs over and over again. Further, the fact that you want to charge me 13.00 (or more) a month when you're giving large bonuses to morons like Howard Stern tells me that you really don't need my business. I may consider trying XM in the future, but honestly, based on what I see on my DirecTV, it has the same repetitive, pick the hits from whatever artist nature and I just don't think it's worth the money. So goodbye Sirus. Maybe if you're lucky I'll renew for a month here and there if I'm going to take a long trip and wish to have more channels to flip through than standard radio (Flipping and not finding anything substantial to listen to is the problem however).

Few Days in Review

Got a flat tire, shelled out close to $400.00 for new tires. Found out my co-pay on my medication is now $22.00 and I’ll be paying $22 per month. I realized I'm late at getting cards out to my Grandfather and Niece for their birthdays. The dog peed her bed last night and woke me up at 5:30 a.m. And now I have a sore throat and stuffy nose. And it’s only Tuesday!!!

It's a magic number...

I've been on this kick lately that involves listening/watching the old School House Rock videos. I bought the all-inclusive DVD some years ago and also the "modern" rock artists CD. So for about a month now I've been cranking out "Three is a Magic Number", "Interplanet Janet", "Little Twelve Toes" and "Lolly Lolly Lolly Get your Adverbs Here". So imagine my surprise...I was in Old Navy today (Yeah, yeah, I'll give them a shout out since I got a scarf and a knit shirt for a total of six bucks!)...And guess what I heard on their piped in music? "Three is a Magic Number" (The original version). How cool is that?

Oh and I also went out and bought myself some Madlibs (Remember those?) I'm torturing all of my friends and loved ones! "Gimmie and adjective!" (Singing... "So I pulled out my adjectives...")

Happy New Year!

I made a New Year's resolution many years ago to not make New Year's resolutions. Those of you that know me (Or have been around long enough.) Will have already heard my theory on this, which is pretty much as follows: If you have to make a New Year's Resolution, it's something you should have been doing a long time ago so get off your tookus and do it. Don't use New Year's as an excuse. All that does is set you up for failure. You're much more prone to use the Cleveland Browns Super Bowl Theory (Ahhh crap, maybe next year!) (I love the Browns so I'm allowed to say that!)

This "better myself", "better my situation" - It's something you should be thinking about year-round. I know that New Year's has that effect on people, you reflect on the past year and the things you accomplished, and then you find yourself looking to the things you didn't accomplish--And this is a good thing (Provided it doesn't send you into a swirling abyss of depression.) There's nothing wrong with reflecting and refocusing, but don't use New Year's as your reason for doing anything. Take the pressure off and just do it. (Or don't think about it and live in your happy oblivious world... Whatever works for you!) Life is hard enough!

Sirius Radio...Am I Serious?

Santa was good to me and brought along a Sirius radio. Why did I choose Sirius you ask? Well I can assure you it was NOT because of Howard Stern! After much research I found that Sirius has quite a bit more music channels. You do the math.

Right now I've got it set up in the plug and play environment. Which means that I'm using my FM Tuner on my radio to dial in. Not the BEST option or the best reception but considering the other options require more parts, more installation and more money (Despite the fact that I'd install it myself.) I decided I would give it the trial run and be sure that I actually like the thing before going through all the trouble.

Here is my delimma. I was never a big radio person to begin with. This is why it's taken me so long to get the thing in the first place. I'm also not a big channel flipper (Unless I'm the passanger.)--Which is why I was never big into listening to the radio in the car. I always found it so much easier to just pop in a CD or plug in my iPod. So I'm going to have to find a station or two that I really like to make it worth my while. I was honestly hoping for more indie music, and it seems as if there is only one station that plays this. And it's indie/college at that. Which means that there is some indie and a bunch of what you'd consider "college radio music". I dig the "1st Wave" station which is old 80s new wave. And it was cool to hear all the old MTV VJs on the all 80s station... I dunno I'm still debating!

Highway Robbery

With a little help, I finally figured out what was going on with my car door. (About a year ago it stopped opening from the inside, causing me to have to roll down the window to let myself out of the driver side). The culprit is this little white plastic clip that holds the bowden cable in a stationary position, while still allowing it to do it's job -- open the door. I looked on line to no avail and finally had to call a dealer out in my old stomping grounds of Mentor, Ohio. The part was 12.00 and shipping was 10.00... $22.00 for a 1/2 inch piece of freaking plastic. Ridiculous! Unfortunately any attempts at rigging were unsuccessful and I had to break down and order the part.

'Tis the Dang Season

Around 4 o'clock this morning a trip to the kitchen for a glass of water led to a startling discovery. The Christmas tree had fallen over.

You’re joking right?
Nope.
Tell me this is a joke!
Nope.
It's kinda funny if you think about it! Christmas stories for the kids and grandkids...
Tell me this is a joke...
Nope.

Broken bulbs (Along with the majority of my favorite ornaments.) littered the floor. Bits and pieces of poor teddy (A Christmas cookie ornament I had made long long ago.) were found from the living room far into the kitchen. The area rug was speckled with a glittery array of tiny shards of red, gold and silver bulbs. Wrapped presents--because I was trying to stay far ahead of the game—lay crushed under the tree, some of them having grown soggy from the absorption of water that spilled out from the tree stand.

How the hell?

The glass was swept, the tree set right, and the soggy gifts laid out in such a fashion as to hopefully allow them to dry. "Awww this will eventually be funny... It'll make a great memory..." I'm told.

I’m planning on going to the store to get some more bulbs today – though some would tell me to quit while I’m ahead I’ve decided that this tree will not beat me. You can blow lights, you can topple over, give me your worst. You WILL sit pretty in my living room until at least December 26th damn it! (Makes a mental note to ensure that the alarm system is set up to dial the fire department in the event of fire).

Tis the season to be jolly?

And I Thought *I* had Problems!

So I go to take Kelsey in for her blood test to figure out what is going on with her Lysodren levels so we can stop the Thorazine shuffle she's been doing. While waiting for her to be admitted (Yeah this place is like a human clinic I swear!) one of the receptionists decided to impart this little bit of information on me:

"We have a dog in the back that was brought in because he chewed off his penis."
A look of shock quickly appeared on my face. Or more like a look of complete horror. "Are you serious?!" I exclaimed.
"Yes," she said. "The doctor said he's either going to have to do a sex change or put the dog down."
I felt my eyes go *blink* *blink* *blink*
"Wow! That's crazy".

The more I thought about this the more it made me wonder.
What exactly would cause an animal to do this?
Gender confusion?
Is this proof that creatures are born gay in the animal kingdom?
Obviously they're not giving the thing hormone replacement therapy or anything, they won't be constructing a vagina. But will they change the dog's name from Brutus to Babs?

And hey, Isaac Mizrahi has created some damned adorable doggie gowns available at Target! (If they’re into that kind of thing).

Here's the Culprit!

This is Katie, or as I like to refer to her - Katiekins. She's the guilty party previously discussed. How can you get mad at a face like this?

I'm not a photographer, but there was just something really cool in the lighting and the color of the shades against the white of Katie that I thought was really cool and caused me to grab my camera. Enjoy!

When Good Pets Go Bad

It's been a hectic couple of days. Hell, the last week and a half has kicked my arse. So I finally got to the point where I was going to take some "me time". I figured a few extra minutes in the tub today wouldn't be out of line right?

But first, lets step back a moment. Last evening I noticed that Katie (my foster dog of sorts) was overly preoccupied with the corner of my office--So much so that she was beginning to pull up the carpet. I found it half amusing, but considering it's new carpet and all, I yelled at her to cease. Continued reprimands were the order of business for the remainder of the evening, so I decided when leaving the office, the best course of action would be to shut the door. Miss Katie, who happens to be my friend's dog for which I am sitting, but I love as my own, rewarded me this morning by peeing in the hallway by the shut door.

Fast forward to today. Katie wasn't bothering too much with the corner. A few "Uht Uhts" in her direction were enough to keep her at bay. So when I got into the tub I didn't even think twice about closing the door. A half hour later, I'm dressed and searching for my brush to tackle the now wet and knotted mane on my head. I walk into my office (This is where the brush was last seen.) and a gasp escaped my lips. I stood in total shock for a moment before yelling, "Katie!" followed by an "OH MY GAWD!" and a "You get out of here!" while pointing towards the door. Katie did the right thing, dropping her head while instinctively tucking her tail and ears as she slunk out of the office.

Please take a gander at the following photograph to share a little in the joy of what lay before me:

Ready?

Tis the Season

I started my Christmas shopping early. I'm bound and determined to get everything purchased, wrapped and sent so that I don't have to pay next day air fees on everything I have to ship out of state this year. That's one of the downfalls about living away from your family. Shipping charges. Hey shouldn't that be figured into the over all gift? "Look! I obviously love you or I wouldn't have spent $20.00 to get this package to you on time!" I'm just saying!

Harddrive Shmarddrive

I've installed SATA hard drives before, but never had one of my own (my computer being the last thing to get fixed and/or upgraded). Things have been humming along with work and I'm thinking that I'll be able to get cauht up. But what's this? My computer decided to turn itself off and then not restart on Friday. After spending all day Saturday trying to figure out what was going on, it seem that my other hard drive has gone bad. Now considering my SATA hard drive is my master hard drive it should have started just fine. So, after unplugging my secondary hard drive I'm humming along just fine again. Weird...

Another Season of This...

Every year I get excited for the new football season and hoping against hope that my Browns might do SOMETHING impressive. First game of the season... Lots of turnovers... Another lost game. *Sigh*

The Bug Whisperer... Or not!

I've been battling fire ants both in and outside of my home. Apparently, due to the unusually warm and dry climes this year, the fire ant population has exploded (Most of them in my yard). After being badly bitten while weeding I decided to be proactive (Two bites caused a large swelling on my arm that lasted for three days and itching that continued for two weeks - and bites on my back and left breast - Crap if I know how they found their way there!) Not being a fan of poisons and their results on amphibious life. (Or the potential hazards to my dog.) I was avoiding this option. But reaching the end of my proverbial rope, I was out of options. After talking myself into using the spreader to treat the entire lawn I come to find swarms of birds in my yard. Upon further inspection I see little inch worms all over the place.

New delimma. If I put the poison down while the birds are feeding on the worms, am I going to wipe out the local bird population? And are the inchworms bad for the lawn? So my next plan of attack - get on line and research the damn worms and the effects of this type of poison on birds (Because this is what ya do). It seems the inchworms are not in any way harmful to my lawn and yes, the poison will probably kill the birds. Damnit! So after a few days - once the birds had moved on to other feeding grounds, I spot treated the lawn. Once this chore was completed I took to straighten up the yard. I pick up the pool cover, which had been errantly cast on the lawn only to find that ants had also decided to move in here. Four new bites... *Sigh*

But wait, we're not done. Today I leaned over while putting away my hoover and immediately felt a sharp pain in my right breast. I jumped up and started yanking at my shirt. No, not a fire ant this time… A wasp! (Let it be known that I'm allergic to bee stings). In response to almost being squashed while I leaned over, it decided to fight back!

I'm avoiding bugs of any kind at the moment!

Computers, computers, computers

I finally got that motherboard and processor my brother sent me. I finally upgraded my computer - While not a huge upgrade, a little faster processor, a hell of a lot better graphics card, lots and lots of RAM and a new SATA hard drive. I've decided that this time I'm going to set it up perfectly so that there are not any of those little annoyances (Everyone has these - something goes wonky on your machine and instead of fixing it, you deal, or find a work around and vow to deal with it when you have more time. In my world, more time means working on everyone else's computers before my own.) So we're up and running and humming along. Life is good for the moment. (Other than finding that a 400GB Harddrive that I had laying around is toast.)

My Theme Song - Thanks to Cristy for this one!

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

Stupid Human Tricks

Do not...I repeat do NOT attempt to mow your lawn when it's got at least a month's growth on you (Thanks to lots of rain and a vacation) all in one day, during the hottest hours of the day, when it's 88 degrees and sunny. I don't think I've ever sweat so much in my entire life. Thank god for the kiddie pool! I think it prevented heatstroke and a total meltdown.

Gay Friendly Fayetteville

You've may have already seen a previous post where I explained how I had seen the local little theater rendition of Rocky Horror Picture Show a few months back, and how I was pretty sure that the role of Frankenfurter was played by a gay local hairdresser. Well, the other night I went out to a favorite local tapas/sandwich place where the staff is always pleasant (So much so that my partner-in-crime at said restaurant claimed that one of the waiters had a thing for me. I protested on account of my certainty that the man is gay). So guess who was behind the counter making the yummies? Yup, none other than Frankenfurter. Anyway, after making our way into our second bottle of wine and noshing on salmon, hummus and other goodies, the gay waiter approached us with an invitation to a new local bar. Surprise! "It's a gay bar" he said, but defended that it was "About 50/50 gay and straight". Out of curiosity, and after having a few drinks at our favorite watering hole, we wound up at the club. Seems you have to have a membership but we insisted that "Mario" would vouch for us. We walked into the club and upon seeing us Mario happily exclaims "You showed!" A little later we were also treated with his shriek "Ahhh, straight people!" Mostly in response to the fact that we were the only straight people in the club that evening. But hey, the dancing was great, and the company was fun. I'm now a member at the only gay club I know of in Fayetteville.

I WANT This!

It's an inflatable pub! Tell me that woudn't be cool next to the kiddie pool!!!

Modem Hell aka I'm back on line!

Good ness that was painful! I finally got my modem and I'm back on line (after threatening to take my laptop to the local coffee shop just to get this month's update done - thankfully I didn't have to do that). You don't realize how much you depend on your computer until you don't have it anymore. What I needed it for in the past three days besides work? Checking movie times, paying bills, and a small research project. I'm currently digging out of the mound of email and getting the update done. Woot woot!

Wild Kingdom

Living out in "the country" has provided many an interesting vista over the past year. My yard has been dubbed "Wild Kingdom" and a few days ago "National Geographic Land", based on a recent find. While hanging out on my back deck, the following creature was spied. This is known as a "Hummingbird Moth" also known as a "Clearwing Month" The size of a large bumble be, reacting like a hummingbird but actually belonging to the moth family this little guy has a means of gathering nectar from flowers (no stinger thank goodness). He's a really cool creature to be sure:

Rain, Rain, Go Away...

It's done nothing but rain all week. I'm starting to feel waterlogged, I can't finish staining my deck (I need a promise of at least 24 hours of no rain) or kill the fire ant hills in my yard (again with the 24 hrs of no rain so as to avoid contamination of aquatic areas thereby killing all my little toadie and tadpole friends). So today I wake up to sheeting rain, high winds (thanks to the latest hurricane) and my poor doggie had to go outside in her little yellow raincoat (because I was damned if I was going out there with her). Can we PLEASE have some sun sometime soon? I'm drowning over here!

Save the tadpoles

Picture this if you will... Myself and my friend Stacy, and her little westie Katie, hanging out by the pond (also known as a retention pool for rain run off -- an attempt at avoiding flooding), when we notice roughly 1,000 tadpoles in a very shallow pool on the other side of the dam by the pond. We immediately took to rescuing the little suckers with old plastic cups (Hey man, frogs and toads keep the mosquito count down, plus they're awfully cute!) It was during this time that Katie decided it might be fun to run around the pond and then dive in after the poor stunned younglings. Thankfully she didn't catch any, but we had a lovely time getting the burrs and stink off her!

Rocky Horror Fayetteville

So I went to see a live "little theater" showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show over the weekend. First off, I'd like to say that I had no idea there were as hip a folks living in this city as the dude that played Frankenfurter. Great voice and stage presence (reminded me of Ziggy Stardust - aka David Bowie), I'm still trying to figure out if he's gay or not since, on the intermission this mesmerized young fellow came up and exclaimed how shocked he was to see his "hairdresser" in such attire. Yes, Frank is a hairdresser by day. Now, being a hairdresser myself I've met many a straight male stylist. Anyway, my point being - Fayetteville might not be as lost as I thought it was. Now if only I can find out where those hip cats hang out! Sadly I have a feeling their evenings are spent rehearsing. But it's nice to see that even small town North Carolina can put on a show like this! My faith is restored in the local arts!

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

You ever get in one of those moods where you just want an extended period of time to yourself? This might sound totally unsocial but I'd love a good solid month where no one calls me (unless they're returning my calls). I know that sounds terribly selfish but I swear right now I'm being pulled in so many directions that I feel like a Stretch Armstrong doll (now I'm showing my age). I am not kidding when I tell you that I cannot get through a day right now where someone isn't trying to make plans to do something with me, most of which involves someone coming to visit here or me going out of town. It's almost laughable at this point. Alone time is good people! It gives you the opportunity to get all up inside your head, do some soul searching and commune with yourself. It's wonderful! Give it a go!!!

A Woman's Age

Most civilized people know that it's rude to ask a woman her age. This morning, over a strong cup of joe, I was wondering when that rule initially came into play. Obviously I don't want anyone asking my age, and when they do I respond with a polite "Young enough to have fun and old enough to know better." (Or some facsimile there of). But if you think about it, the simple fact that this has become the norm in society is a glaring reminder--being that it's okay to ask a man his age--that women are not allowed to age and men just get more distinguished and better looking with each new gray hair and wrinkle. So, men are a fine bottle of red wine while women remain that really tasty chardonnay that over-time, turns to vinegar? This explains my reaction (indignation and self-consciousness) when a man recently approached me with what I'm sure he thought was the best of compliments: "You are getting better looking with age. I mean, you were always a hottie, but your looking more seasoned."

Do I even need to point out the million ways in which this was SO not the way to win my heart!

Icky Sickly

In case you've been wondering where Kimmie has been hiding for the past odd thirty days... Beyond doing some behind-the-scenes web-related things for the Score! website to make things, I managed to go smack from the stomach flu right into the nastiest bout of Strep throat imaginable.

When I used to hear the term Strep I thought... No big--It's a sore throat and a fever right? In fact I was certain I'd had Strep in the past. These last two weeks have brought to light a very interesting fact. No, I've never had Strep before, because I'm pretty sure I would recall being in so much pain that I couldn't even swallow my own saliva, let alone eat or sleep.

After attempting to make an appointment with my doctor I wound up going to the ER. This alone should tell you the amount of pain I was in and why I would suffer five hours of babies crying, people vomiting and one lady dealing with her mentally disturbed son, while I battled with a 104 degree fever and the chills - I walked out around the fifth hour (after having called and made an appointment at the evening clinic). I was diagnosed and given motrin and a lidocaine mouth rinse. Let me tell you, when the infection has reached your glands, there is no amount of motrin or lidocaine that is going to help. Three days of no sleep, and no food found me back into the doctor asking for pain relief. A steroid injection (let's hope I don't grow boy parts) and some Percocet was the answer this time. Two days later I'm still running at least a 100 degree fever and the pain has not subsided. Third doctor visit resulted in a first impression that I had Mono. Six tubes of blood donated, tilts (blood pressure taken while sitting, standing and lying down) and a refill on my current drugs sent me on my way.

It is now almost two weeks since the first signs of illness and the drugs are finally starting to help. I'm up every 3-4 hours for a redosing and I'm now able to eat maltomeal - that's about the extent of what I can get down. Water still tends to burn my infected tonsils. Small sips they say. Small sips.

My new mantra: Percocet is your friend!!!

Now back to my previously scheduled coma...

A Quiet Moment

Today the sky has a beautiful azure hue, punctuated by soft billowy clouds. There's a strong wind that reminds me of change--It feels like a promise. I close my eyes and let it wash over me. The sun kisses my face with soft adoration. I toss my head back in gentle response. Folding my arms--encircling myself in a protective embrace. Breathing in deeply the warm fragrant air, which hints heavily of last night's rainfall. A soft sigh escapes my lips as I think of him. "Lover..." I whisper, before inhaling his name, the corners of my mouth answer through an acquiescent smile.

Valentine Shmalentine

We begin this post with a little story. I'm standing in line at the store and I overhear this cute young girl say to her cute young friend, "I don't have anyone to buy me flowers this year". That statement alone is a wonderful expression as to why Valentine's Day stinks. While I myself did receive flowers, and I do have a date this evening (shhhh), I still firmly believe that the balance of this holiday equates to more harm than good. Yes it's nice to celebrate your lover--But honestly you should be doing that everyday anyway! Instead what the holiday does is make those people, who are currently mateless, feel "less than". And that's just bunk.

I'm Not In Love

You know how it is, you're tooling around wind up coming across a song from the past that just kinda hits you in the gut...Whether it's memories, something that's going on in your life or what not, you feel this visceral kind of shake. At least that's how I am about music. So I'm tooling around on Rick Springfield's website (Yes. Shut up!) And there is a snip of this cover of 10cc's "I'm Not in Love". It totally did it for me...

I'm not in love, so don't forget
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong
Don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love
Oh no, It's because

I'd like to see you, but then again
It doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm in love
Oh no, It's because

I keep your picture upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that's lying there
So don't you ask me to give it back
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me
I'm not in love
No no, It's because

Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me
You'll wait a long time for me

I’m sitting here with the TV going in the background as I try and get some work done and a commercial for a certain web hosting company comes across the screen. I would like to know what scantily clad skanks covered in soap bubbles have to do with web hosting. And I wonder as a web designer why this web hosting company thought it was a good idea to alienate me (and many other women web designers) by creating such a commercial. I don’t expect my male counterparts to understand my irritation, not having to spend every day of their lives barraged with partial male nudity and sexual innuendo by men to sell products on TV, billboards, magazines, radio, you name it! Though I’m fairly certain, despite whatever protests, that an exact duplicate of this commercial with role reversal would have them running for any web hosting company BUT this one. I do not know how to express this without being tagged as a feminazi (which I SO am not), a prude (now that is just funny), or being told I’m making more of this than it’s worth. But you know, I’m just fed up. I’m sick of the exploitation of women to sell products. I’ve long since grown tired of the unhealthy messages thrown at young girls making them believe that sexy is a skirt short enough to show their ass cheeks and a wet t-shirt. And before I start receiving messages that I’m giving sour grapes because I’m jealous, trust me when I tell you, I have far too much self-esteem to be envious of any tart whoring herself out to further line the pockets of a boardroom full of men. Yes honey, your parents must be so proud.

And for all those men drooling over these women, you know if that was your girlfriend, or heaven forbid, your daughter up there and all of your buddies were drooling on your coffee table as she’s writing on the hood of a sports car, you’d be the first to start throwing punches and demanding an end to the display. Yeah, yeah you claim otherwise but you know it’s true.

All I can say is, those clients of mine who have accounts with this company will be making a move come renewal time. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to don my super-sexy, yet very classy black high-heeled boots before heading out for a beer with my buddies.

Casting Shadows

He is a shadow.
Birthed by daylight.
Spread across the mind and heart.
He is illusive.
Drifting in unison with the dawdling time.
An apparition masking a cool grayed surface.

He vanishes with the darkness.
A memory. A whisper.
Yet sustaining light keeps its promise.
He returns with radiance
Casting shadows of his own.

Acceptable Behavior?

I've been all up in my head about this recently and the more I think on it, the more annoyed I become. I would like to know when it became socially acceptable to maul and manhandle a woman. When did sexual assault become appropriate behavior? In the span of three weeks I've had an old guy attempt to grind up on my backside through my clothes on a dance floor in Tampa, and just the other night I had not one, not two, but THREE men, with absolutely no provocation on my part, grab me and smash their lips against mine!

When having conversations with various people about this, I've received everything from analogies that compare men to dogs and women to bologna; That I should wear burlap when I go out; That most people can't handle their liquor; and my favorite -- I shouldn't go out by myself.

All jokes aside, I don’t care how drunk you are--I'm fairly certain somewhere you learned simple manners. You know this is just WRONG! Further, my choice of attire (which was not skanky I assure you) and whether or not I'm attractive and/or arrive to a bar un-escorted, should not equate to my being held responsible for the actions of some obnoxious letches, that given better reaction time on my part would all be undergoing testicle retrieval surgery at this very moment!

Someone to watch over me...

I never realized one person could produce so much snot. My head is stuffy, my ears are plugged and my lungs are wheezing. It's a beautiful site. I attempted to work out yesterday and succeded in nearly passing out on the ellipitcal and smacking myself in the head with a free weight. I was told by Dr. Ryan that I need to rest. Rest is the answer. I realize this, but I've never been much of a lay-about. So when I'm curled up on the sofa with nothing but the "Dead Like Me" DVD series and a box of Kleenex to comfort me, all I can think of is the laundry list of things that need done. And then I feel sorry for myself.

Being independent and all -- and for all intents and purposes living alone most of the time -- I'm not one to ask for help. And I'm too "grown up" to call for my mommy (and even if I did she lives three states away). But damnit! I want someone to run me a hot bath, bring me a cup of tea, deliver my meds with a glass of water and a kiss on the forehead. Someone to wrap me in a warm embrace while I fall blissfully into a cold-med-induced coma. "Someone take care of me!" she whines with a big pouty lip for effect.

Bad Idea

I love my family. So when faced with a pseudo slumber party evening of movie watching with my mom and sister, I was all for it--Despite their hacking and coughing. I figured, yeah, I'll probably wind up with this shit... Considering I was sandwiched in the middle of them on the bed... But at the time I just didn't care. Mmm hmmm, I'm currently sneezing, stuffy headed and my body aches. Yeah I'm attempting to put my butt to bed early tonight.
Goodnight world!

Mother Ocean

The pungent salty smell is the first to attack the senses, causing an immediate clearing of the mind. Breathing in deeply as the sea air expands the lungs…Exhale to expel the remnants of the city. Soft white sand creeps between toes as the music of crashing waves hints of her serenity. Gulls squawk their song in response while darting away from foamy breaks along the shore. Her mist clings to downy hair and eyelashes like morning dew on blades of grass. She wreaks havoc on my long mane, creating unruly curls while a perfume of brine covers my skin. Answering her call, I dip my feet into her wetness, her breeze tickling my soul. Walking forward submerging feet, then ankles…Shins…Knees…Thighs…Hastily I dive ahead, skimming just under the surface before rolling onto my back beyond reach of the punishing waves. Her density supports me as I float weightless over the continually swelling, saline surface. She claims me with her tender embrace, allowing me to taste of her energy, experiencing her blissful freedom.

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

Best New Year Wish

Not unlike my Best Christmas Wish (below), I got a call from my baby brother, currently stationed in Iraq. In our own loving style the conversation started like such... "Happy New Year Fugger!" "Happy New Year to you too Fugger!" Hey, he and I get the joke and that's what counts! Miss you "Vlar" be safe!

You Say You Want A Resolution...

A resolution this is NOT. I'm fairly adverse to the concept of New Years Resolutions. It's my stance that if you have to make a resolution to accomplish a goal, it's probably something you should have been doing long before the new year crept up on you--So stop making excuses, get off your tookus and get it done. Another of my reasoning…The simple act of proclamation is generally an automatic set up for failure (unless of course you plan on attending the meetings…"Hello, my name is Kimmie and I'm a blogaholic".) No, this is a simple observation brought on by another year's passage and growing yet another year older. Yeah, yeah, Happy freakin' Birthday to me.

Let me start here, with a premise that I am not one to live my life by the stars, palm reading and/or horoscopes, but I figured I might as well toss it into the mix, no? So, my horoscope indicates that "Personal priorities are important -- you've always known that. But the trick is sorting out what you want from what you need. Fortunately for you, right now you've got the instinct and insight to do just that. Figure out what's essential for you when it comes to relationships, and be flexible on the rest. Not only will that broaden your options, but paradoxically, it will ensure that your standards remain high."

What's really kind of funny here is that I've been going through this "thing"… Who are my true friends? Who can I depend on? I've had a really strange year filled with some not-particularly-wonderful-happenings. As a result, I've come to be reminded that life is too short to waste energy on false friends (not only that but heartbreak in all its forms is a S.O.B). I know this sounds like that sweet-tempered part of me, the gal that gets along with anyone and will have a conversation with a shrub if it's willing to listen, has been killed off. That’s not true. I still entertain the idea of new friends and fostering relationships; I'm just going to be more discerning. It's about quality not quantity. And enriching one another's lives. Ahhh the wonder of reciprocity!

Best Christmas Gift EVER

I just received one of the best Christmas presents EVER. A phone call from my brother in Iraq! How much do I love that the conversation started with him saying "Merry Christmas Fugger!" (In Kevin Style) -- That rocks! Almost felt like he was right here! God I miss him like you can't imagine!

Self Affirmations

She has a friendly face. Her smile brightens up a room.
Always willing to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on.
Supportive even if she doesn’t always agree with you.
Faithful to a fault and ready to take a bullet for those she truly cares about.
She's generous and genuine. She doesn’t know how to tell a lie.
She cries when she's really happy, sad or angry, but is far from being a whiner or a crybaby. She's much tougher than she's given credit for.
Adversity only makes her stronger.
While she doesn't trust easily, if you're lucky enough to get in, you'll find her heart resting tentative on her sleeve. Break it and you'll have to work hard to get back in.
She believes in second chances but will never be your doormat.
Her biggest heartbreaks are deceit, betrayal and game playing.
You don't have to guess what's on her mind. Ask and she'll tell you.
She never makes promises she can't keep.
She lives her life for herself and those close to her, not for what the world might think.
She laughs easily (especially at dumb jokes) and her laughter is contagious.
She's the kind of person that enriches your life.
She is me.

How to make a Kimmie

Ingredients: 5 parts intelligence 1 part crazyiness 3 parts leadership

Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Top it off with a sprinkle of lovability and enjoy!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

And the hits just keep on coming...

I'm not sure what it is about this time of year. I have quite a few friends that have lost loved ones around Thanksgiving. People seem to go MIA. It's cold and crappy and we're all moody. (Or is that just me and everyone I am close to). And to make things worse, my little brother, who is so much younger than me I look at him almost as a son -- the boy who calls me at least three times a week -- one of my best friends... He just left for Iraq... More worms for me please!

Love Actually

I just got done watching the film "Love Actually" again. It was on when I stopped for a lunch break. I dunno what it is about this movie that get's me... It's just such a great flick. And that little boy Sam looking up at Liam saying "Lets go get the shit kicked out of us by love!" It's just good stuff man!

Happy Thanksgiving

I'm having the fam. here for Thanksgiving... Pray I don't burn the house down (actually I'm not a bad cook, I just have a habit of setting things on fire). Anyway here is my Thanksgiving Greeting. Not sure what it is I find so amusing about this but it makes me giggle hard!

Boys are Stupid

For those of you that have had the pleasure of being in the vicinity of my person (either in the flesh, or virtually) you'll know that my latest mantra is "Boys are Stupid". Leave it to ya'll to prove my point: I rest my case.

Girly Girl My Butt!

I'm sitting on the sofa yesterday and I've got my laptop perched in front of me, all set to get some work done. I feel this tickle on my hand and I notice this little piss-ant (Technical term for those tiny little nuisance brown ants that go after sugar). I brush it off thinking... Where there is one... Yup, the suckers are feasting on my one true indulgence -- $30 per pound Godiva Milk Chocolate Raspberry Starfish, which I purchased with the intention of savoring one a day! The ants seem to agree as they've created a trail from the box, down the table leg, across the floor and under the baseboard. Needless to say I whipped up the box, which had been sitting on the coffee table for less than 48 hours, and I rushed to the sink where I began to blow the ants off each piece of chocolate, one by one, before transferring to a zip lock bag.

And the question is... Despite my dislike for insects, will I still eat the chocolate? Heck yeah!!!

I'm a Junkie

She walks through the airport lounge with a glass of wine in one hand and her laptop balanced in the other. Wireless signal strength 86%…No joy! Continually rescanning the area hoping for enough juice to simply check her mail, she quickly becomes frustrated.

61%…Crap!
46%…Damnit!
She circles back to where she began.
Check mail.
Connection lost.

"Why am I putting myself through this!?!?" She asks herself, knowing that the answer lies in her withdraws from the last three days of Internet access free living – Not by choice. She wonders how she could possibly feel so cut off from the world while having spent the last seventy-two hours running ragged through one of the most bustling cities in the world. It's official. I'm an Internet junkie. This is what happens when you force everyone in your life to become accustomed to communicating with you through email and/or IM and when you've built an online business. You become dependant and then find yourself in situations such as these...

Teetering on one foot, holding the computer high…
Oh hey I think I just got a 91%!

As the day continues...

Yeah, those zen-like moments can only last a short while before I begin contemplating the Religion of Vino!

The Religion of Coffee

The brisk morning air causes an involuntary shiver. I wrap my fingers around a tall coffee, enfolding it in my hands like a precious gift. Heat creeps through my palms and into sleepy digits while I pause, embracing the anticipation, before raising cup to mouth. Pressing eager lips to the rim, the soothing aroma awakens the sinuses as steam flutters across my skin. Gingerly sucking in the too-hot liquid, I am mindless of the slightly seared tongue. Instead, my focus remains centered on the lifeblood radiating down my throat, to my belly and stealing into my limbs with heady affection. The remainder will be consumed in an involuntary act, but for this moment, my entire being is enlightened, comforted…sustained. With this, I begin the day in a hopeful, Zen-like calm.

Walking Contradiction

Picture this if you will: A small town fair, dubbed as "Autumn Fest", complete with a Bavarian Oompah Ooompah band, local crafters, the smell of greasy funnel cakes, hot dogs, and fresh squeezed lemonade, with me...clad in shorts, multi colored floral combat boots, and a black shirt adorned with little skulls and cross bones spelling out my favorite complimentary close, "xoxo" and the words "Hugs and Kisses" underneath the design. Yeah, I blend...

Let's Play!

I'm puttering around the living room, music blaring on the stereo, when I look out the window and spot a rambunctious dog bouncing around my yard. Of course I go outside to play (inherent in my nature). Walking out the front door I notice the pup is accompanied by two equally playful, though less trusting hounds, as I crouch down to their level and begin to make a come-hither kissy noise that sends the more rowdy of the bunch lumbering towards me with the enthusiasm of a six-year old. Before I know it I'm trapped in a flurry of fur, wagging tails, wet noses and kissing tongues. I laughed, squealed and soaked in the love, giggling and clapping as they slathered me in attention, bits of dirt and a fair amount of slobber. We paused our game on occasion while I scolded the smaller, fluffy, dust mop -- not surprisingly the alpha of the bunch -- for snapping at her younger sibling's inability to control his larger, ungainly body, flopping across her in exuberant attempts to tackle me. They proceeded to romp through the yard, tearing through the thicket near the ravine, then around the house before repeating their affections on my person. This traffic pattern occurred three more times before mom whistled them home, and the three raced off, looking back at me as if to say, "Last one there's a rotten egg."

I'm Pissed

I want nothing to do with the "New INXS". Is JD talented? Yes. Does he have rock star qualities? Yes. Is he right for INXS? No. Will they be doing a Rock Star INXS 2006? More than likely.

JD should be perusing a solo career. He has his own ideas and visions and I don't see him as a team player. I see a strong case of LSD (Lead Singer Disease) in his future (hints of which were more than visible during the course of the show). Marty on the other hand, when put side by side with Michael Hutchence, is the most fitting candidate to fill those shoes in my honest opinion. He has vision, he has drive, he has talent and he's only going to continue to grow as an artist. If that boy doesn't become a huge star I'll eat my hat.

And MiG...What can you say about MiG? That guy is so damn talented I can't even believe it! It's obvious that his "niceness" was a hurdle that the band couldn't get past. Which is a shame. MiG too will meet with great success.

I want all those hours of my life back that I wasted watching this atrocity. If not for the gifts of Marty (his song "Trees"), MiG, Suzy, and Jordis I think I'd find a way to sue the network for damages. That is all...

Dynamite

Okay I came across this today while needing a good laugh and it was the perfect prescription. If you're a fan of Napoleon Dynamite (or even if you're not) go check out these commercials for the Utah State Fair (http://www.utah-state-fair.com/ --see the menu on the left for Napoleon's Sweet Ads) And here is a taste: Pedro's Song

You Know Your A Geek When...

You find this both entertaining AND exciting: (http://www.asciipr0n.com/archive/0013/bonnie/craft/).

You know you're a geek when you actually dig out an old floppy and use it make your own Starship Enterprise replica.

Looking Back...

Would anyone have ever imagined, oh say, fifteen years ago, that you'd be able to turn on the television in the middle of the afternoon and see a Megadeath video? --In the same rotation with 38 Special no less? If you sit around thinking about this stuff hard enough it'll send you stupid though. So...back to work with me, sitting on the sofa with VH1 Classics in the background, my sickly mac laptop (screen being propped up by a lovely bamboo tea scented candle because the hinges are snapped off of the monitor -- anyone know where I can find a cheap 15" titanium case, I'd be forever indebted) and sipping on some homemade lemonade. There are many reasons I don't have a traditional job. This is just one fine example. Cube farms be damned!

No REALLY!

Am I EVER going to get rid of this cough? I mean honest to crap. We're talking just shy of two months here kids. I'm starting to think I have TB or something. I'm taking my meds. I've spent the better part of the last, what, two weeks, as a dope head. While the nice glow that covers my world is lovely, there are times when I do like to be coherent. Times when I need to be capable of a normal thought processes. This whole "tree pretty" mentality is great, but I've got work to do, things to accomplish, and have you TRIED dealing with scripts when you're giggling at tilde (~) marks because they look silly? For real!

Spoof This!

There's nothing quite like figuring out that someone is spoofing one of your email addresses to send spam. The only thing that tops it is to find out that they're a titty site out of Moscow and there probably isn't a damn thing I can do about it legally. What sucks for them is I'm a geek and was able to find all of their information in which to plan my retaliatory attack. Mess with MY email will you... MUAHAHAHA!!!

Me? Evasive?

Those of you who know me, know I'm a stickler about giving out my personal information. Hell, I've even had a friend dub me as "Miss Evasive". My last name cannot be found on any document on line. My address is top secret but to those I've come to trust. You do not get my email address unless I'm sure you're not a stalker. And I'm practiced at the art of question avoidance. You get the idea. Maybe I take it to extremes, but a gal's gotta be careful. And then I come across something like this...PLEASE be sure to click on the Social Security Card link.

http://www.angelfire.com/jazz/antonybrosnan/

Bud...Wi....Zerr

So I'm going to let my dog out last night, and as I open the garage door, in hops this cute-as-hell toad. I'm freaking out because... well come on... he needs to be outside, not in my kitchen!!! So I try to catch him. I'm on my hands and knees chasing after this sucker on my kitchen floor hoping it doesn't make a break for under the stove or the fridge. I finally grab him and he jumps out of my hands onto the counter top. I'm squeeling... "No no... get back here", as I grab it again. He's kicking at me for all he's worth and I'm talking to him like he understands--"I'm sorry little toadie, but you can't be in here!" I finally get him outside and set him on the ground and yes, of course, HE PEED on my HAND. Nice! And I submit to you: How can ANYONE call me a girlie girl?

Don't Deny Thine Self

I just bought myself a gift... For no reason other than I WANT! I WANT! I WANT! Credit card bill be damned!

It's a Guinness ring bayyybeee! Made from an actual can!  YES!!!

Insight

I'm an angel...

With clip on wings.

I'm Inspired...

I just watched this fabulous documentary conducted by Roseanna Arquette called Searching for Debra Winger. The gist of the documentary, at the heart of it, is Roseanna's own personal search to understand being a woman who is "growing up" and/or "becoming mature" in the world of acting. What makes some actresses decide to hang up their hats, what type of fallacies are there, rivalries, expectations both of self and by the media/public, those things that are inflicted upon women--especially those behind the camera (must stay thin, look young, no bags, no wrinkles...), how to react to these expectations, sisterhood, heroes, accepting oneself, and simply put, a bunch of incredible women discussing the ups and downs of being creative women.

I Was Robbed!

So I took this 80s test (Thanks C!) - And while I scored pretty high, and even got some bonus questions... I think that the grading was a little strict on the following don't you? (They were fill in the blanks)

My Answer: "Make you wonder how the [other] half [die]."
Right Answer: "Make you wonder how the [better] half [die]"
Nevermind it is "Makes" not "Make" but i'm not bitter!

My Answer: "Don't [trun] [around]" (yeah typo!)
Right Answer: "Don't [turn] [around]"

My Answer: "And the full moon that hangs over these [dreams] in the [myst].
Right Answer "And the full moon that hangs over these [dreams] in the [mist].
COME ON! You say tomato...

My Answer: "When I see [your smile], I can face the world".
Right Answer: "When I see [you smile], I can face the world".
Okay, getting a little TECHNICAL aren't we?

My Answer: "And I know I'm right cuz I [heard] it in the night."
Right Answer: "And I know I'm right cuz I [hear] it in the night."
My answer is actually grammaticaly correct...

My Answer: "By order of the [prophets] we ban that boogie sound."
Right Answer: "By order of the [prophet] we ban that boogie sound."
Are you SERIOUS?

Heh heh.. I got 147 points though... That was fun! WE...ARE..THE 80s!

A True Compliment

My little brother (I say little because he's ten years younger than me) was here visiting over Fourth of July weekend. We were having an off-handed discussion about relationships and that type of hooey. After his vehement "I'm never getting married" I jokingly commented, "Oh face it, you just can't find a woman as WONDERFUL as your sister." He looked at me with all the seriousness of a train wreck and said, "You're not kidding. If I could find another woman in this world like you, I'd marry her in a second." WOW! I guess my brother thinks I'm pretty great! Who knew?!?!

Damn Yankee

Living in "The South" is wonderful. The weather of course being the main benefit. If you're not a fan of the snow, you can escape it all together if you move as far as Florida. If you like a little snow, you can try the climes of North Carolina or maybe Virginia. Having lived in all three locals, I can certainly tell you that the laid back atmosphere and the beautifully blooming flowers and trees (not to mention the beaches) are supreme.

Unfortunately, with the good comes the bad. We've got bigger bugs. And just last month I saw a bull frog that could eat my dog as a snack. But one of the main drawbacks would have to be the, shall I say lazy, attitude? Now I'm as laid back as the next guy (or gal) and I'm all about taking it easy. But being a native of Cleveland (or the burbs thereof), I have what has been described to me by previous southern employers as "the Midwestern work ethic". Essentially what that means is we work hard, we work quickly and are genuinely pleased over a job well done. Southerners on the other hand, as a whole, move slower than Mississippi mud and, as I sit here waiting for my noon appointment to show up (at 1:45 p.m.) I'm reminded that they have no concept of "a schedule".

Meanwhile, Darryl and Darryl are behind me, attempting to fix my kitchen sink, which I recently discovered, was lacking in hot water. I'm more than mildly amused as I listen to them fumble their way through the repair as the foreman announces in a thick southern drawl, "Your killing me!" to his fellow employee, who responds by mimicking the sentiment.

Return of the Fly

Sometimes I feel like a flying insect too stupid to realize that the glass will stay glass no matter how hard I keep throwing myself into it, hoping I'll get through to the other side.

Girls Will Be Boys...

I have always been somewhat of a tomboy. My older brother was my best friend growing up and keeping me clean was something my mom gave up on in the early years. So the following story should come as no surprise:

I went to check on the status of my home (i.e. make sure the builders are not screwing shit up) and to drop off a ceiling fan on my way out of town, heading up to my grandmother's funeral (yeah it's been a rough week). For the first time since groundbreaking, the doors were locked. I figured I'd try the back door and also a window. It was pouring down rain and the yard was a big muck hole, but I felt safe enough in my Lands End hiking boots. What I didn't expect was to take a step towards the window and find myself sunk to my knees in a concoction of quicksand mud that seemed to want to hold me captive. Thankfully I was close enough to the deck to grab hold and hoist myself out. Unfortunately the water had not been turned on yet so I coudln't try to rinse myself off, so I decided to find some puddles to jump around in (which were equally muddy) Good thing I had a suitcase full of clothes so that I could change into new pants and shoes (hey those boots kept my feet clean and dry so I didn't have to change socks!) - A 10 hours drive covered in wet sandy mud would've sucked tremendously.

The Year of My Birth

I was going through some old paperwork this morning and I came across this card I got for my Birthday last year (December for those of you wanting to send me prezzies). Based on my personality and values, I think some of this is pretty funny, odd and also interesting:

In the news: Neil Armstrong walks on the moon; Bernadette Devlin (21 year old female w00t w00t!) is elected to British Parliament; Smothers Brothers show is canceled, labeled "too controversial" (pah-lease!); The Saturday Evening Post folds; Woodstock Festival is held (drugs, music, partying and mud...); Pantsuits become acceptable for everyday wear by women (This, I admittedly found surprising!); Senator Kennedy's car plunges off a bridge on Chappaquiddick Island killing passenger, Mary Jo Kopechne. Large anit-war demonstrations take place.

New to the market: Penthouse founded by Robert Cuccione (Isn't this the first skank porn?); Boeing 747 makes its first flight. The concord makes its maiden voyage (I love airplanes); Yale, Bowdoin and Colgate colleges (pooh-pooh) admit women (w00t w00t!); Arthur Michell establishes the Dance Theater of Harlem.

Value of a Dollar: $189.95 would buy you a stereo (For real!); Eggs were 61 cents a dozen (I grew up eating eggs and soldiers - if you don't know what that is you missed out!); Kodak Instamatic Cameras were $35.00 (I remember those!); and you could buy a car for (US average) $2,280 (holy crap... now TVs go for as much as cars did then!).

Awards: Midnight Cowboy gets Best Picture; Best Actor: John Wayne for True Grit; Best Actress: Maggie Smith for The Prime of Miss Jeane Brodie and 5th Dimension gets the Grammy for Aquarius (That song is synonymous with hippie!).

Music: Rolling Stones release Gimme Shelter. Other Popular musical groups were Led Zeppelin and Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Born to be Wild and Come Together are musical hits. Portnoy's Complaint, The Godfather, The Last of the Red Hot Lovers, The Andromeda Strain and Slaughterhouse-Five are published (Andromeda Strain was crazy stuff!); Easy Rider; Hello Dolly; Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Hitchcock's Topaz are showing at the cinema. Broadway's Oh Calcutta! shocks audiences with its frontal nudity (w00t w00t!); Coco, Starring Kathrine Hepburn is on Broadway. Star Trek is off the air after a 3-year run (I admit it, I'm a bit of a trekkie. Though TNG and Patrick Stewart rock my world!); Rembrandt's Self-Portrait sells for $2,256,000 at Christie's In London (This makes me wanna start painting again!).

THE END

I'm a Bad Girl...

So I went to see the movie Crash last night. Very intense movie. For those of you that have seen this sucker you know its one of those thing that both surprises and inflames. One of the ladies I was sitting next to during the show is really freaked out by racism (and rightly so) so between the two of us there were quite a few... "Oh my GAWDs", gasps and other such, along with a few quick side comments. This of course resulted in me getting chastised by some stuffy man sitting a few rows back who actually got up out of his seat, walked up to us and said rather sternly "Ladies, do you think you can save the conversation for after the show?" I put on the right amount of contrition and apologized and was quiet for the rest of the show.

Please realize I'm not one to talk through a movie and we weren't being incessant about it, but I suppose I too would have been irritated by my behavior. But, as I said, this movie tends to inflame.

This is what I get for attending a show at a swanky theater that serves wine and cushions your ass with leather seats. Umm hmmm...

Am I THIS big of a geek?

The actors who play Padme Amadala, Darth Sedius and Obi Wan are going to be at a local store this month for a meet and gree and I'm contemplating going... Holy crap... I AM a geek!

RETURN OF THE SCREEN SAVERS

This freaking rocks! 

HABITcky writes "Leo Laporte, Patrick Norton, Kevin Rose, and Robert Heron have gotten together and recorded their first podcast of The Return Of The Screen Savers (ROTSS) It's a 56kbps MP3Pro file weighing in at around 14MB. Join them for 34 minutes of Skyping fun as they discuss driving in the dust, cell phones, Kevin's new webcast, Systm, and the demise of TechTV. They plan to make this a weekly broadcast."

Society and Fear

I was driving down this windy country road yesterday after having looked at the progress of my new home. It was starting to get a little late and storm clouds were moving in, so there was an eerie feeling in the air. I'm buzzing along at a high speed when I notice this man on the side of the road. I slow a bit, wondering what his deal is, when I notice him flailing his arms as I almost zoom past. I slammed on the brakes, realizing he was trying to flag me down.

A lot of things run through your mind in these types of situations. The first of course... do I stop? Obviously I did. The second thing I did was press the door lock as the man approached, then I kindly lowered the passenger window. I remember feeling crappy that I had to lock the doors. I'm a trusting person by nature but let's face it. I'm not stupid!

I could tell by looking at him that something wasn't quite right. He seemed very upset and he uttered the words "I'm deaf" as he presented me with a handwritten note.

This is the part where I realize I can never tell this story to my mom or she'll never sleep at night expecting that at any moment my trusting nature was going to result in a phone call that I've wound up dead in the proverbial ditch.

The note tells me that he's deaf and his father is in the hospital and he doesn't have enough money for gas to get up to the hospital. It kindly asks if he could borrow $15.00 and that he would pay me back tomorrow. And you know what? For some reason, I believed him. I motioned for him to hold on a moment as I reached for my purse (which of course was an invitation for any criminal to grab it and run - he kept his distance). I felt like crap that all I had in my wallet was a dollar bill but I hand it to him as I said "this is all I have", shaking my head from side to side and hoping he understood. He shook his head in acknowledgment and I drove off.

I'm left with a few feelings. 1) Our society is so un-tusting! 2) Why didn't he just ask me for a ride? 3) What would I have done if he did? and 4) Why do I feel like shit that all I had was a dollar?

On a lighter note...

I'm walking through the parking lot of Best Buy the other day, minding my own business. As I'm heading towards my car this other car stopped to let me walk passed and this dude leans out his window and gives me a "Hey GIRL!"...

What is that? I mean...I appreciate the implied compliment and all, but what do you suppose his response would have been if I replied with "Hey BOY!" - Mind you there was a nice... appreciative "wooo-oooohhhh" as I continued to walk on pretending as if I didn't hear--Because sometimes, honestly, it's best just to move on.

BAD idea... REALLY BAD...

Don't EVER decide to change your domain name, webhost, email host, and
the entire look of your website all at the same time. And toss in a
curve ball of having the deadline bumped up for various reasons
(including but not limited to the looming expiration date of the email
account and early server switch, to name a few) and you've got a recipe
for complete and utter HELL.

THIS is SO Cool!

Pilfered from slashdot: Bunny writes "The City of Dayton, Ohio announced a plan to make all of downtown a WiFi hotspot - and as of last week, the network is live. This makes Dayton the first Ohio city to offer free WiFi access. Approximately one square mile of downtown is now live, including Fifth Third Field, the Oregon District, Webster Station and RiverScape. The WiFi project is a public/private partnership not funded by taxpayers, and comes at no charge to the end user." (According to the linked story at WHIO-TV, the city is actually paying about $5,000 per year, with advertisers picking up the rest of the tab.)

The Benefits of Walking

So I was on my daily walk - it's an exercise thing - and I was most of the way home, attempting to beat the rain clouds, when I passed by a man mowing his lawn. I didn't really pay a lot of attention to him, earbuds with ipod blaring a radio show into my ears and all. I happened to notice him as he looked at me, stopped what he was doing and just started, mower still running in his hands. He then let go of the handle (which turned the mower off) and signaled that I should pull out the earbud, which I did. "Hi!" he says. "I thought it was going to be nice today!" "Yeah..." I replied. "Dunno what happened. I was going to mow my lawn today too..." I fibbed slightly (I NEED to mow my lawn and I had considered it breifly but never fully committed). "Oh! You need some help with that?" He asks. How sweet, I thought, and smiled brightly "No thanks, I'm going to wait for a dry sunny day." I reached for the earbud and started to walk away and he began to mow again. As I made my way around the cul-du-sac he signals to me again, at which I repeat the process of removing my ear bud and pausing my show. "My name is EJ by the way, what's yours?" "I'm Kim. Nice to meet you EJ." I said. "Let me know if you need any help with that lawn. I'm right here." I chuckled and replied "Thank you!" and continued on my walk.

It's 76 and Sunny...

...And there isn't a cloud in the sky... Beautiful blue as far as the eye can see. It's officially SPRING!

When I was a teenager, still living at home with the parental units, I remember this time of year vividly... you'd hear Bill's charger zooming up the street (where otherwise it would be parked safely away in his garage only going out when forced to do so). The neighbor kids would emerge to scream, yell and run around the yards. Friends would come visiting. -- I hear the car and run to the window... is he stopping here? Oh yay! He is! - I tear downstairs pausing at the door to run my fingers through my hair before calmly walking outside with a smile. "Hey! how you been?" Not long after Shelly would come up from down the street... Oh hey, here's Brady and Tim and Jim... Before you know it, the gang's all here.

What IS it about weather like this makes you wanna go outside and play!

Influencing Friends

While I stopped just short of B&E (Breaking and Entering) I did partake
in a little trespassing while inspecting a potential new home yesterday
(at least it appeared potential from the newspaper AD - not so much
after seeing the place in person). I wandered into the very spacious
back yard of what could certainly be a beautiful home, had it not been
so poorly taken care of by the previous owners (and the current new
owners - termites). I also found myself wandering around on a yard that
had some woods - and decided I needed to see where the lot ended (I bear
the thorn scraped hands to prove it). Since this time I have found
myself schooled on the proper care and maintenance of septic systems
(you'd think having grown up in Brunswick freaking Ohio I'd know about
these mechanical wonders but as my luck would have it -not so much).

Beyond the new education and certain habits of Miss Cristy that I've
recently taken up, I also found out that its really hard to find a home
that you'd like to increase in value when your hood could potentially be
inhabited by Jethro The Squater who resides in a literal -- and quite
rusty -- tractor trailer which he's upgraded, complete with kitchen and
living area. The jury is still out as to whether he's got running hot
and cold water, though I'm pretty sure the answer is an unequivocal
"No". Good NIGHT!! North Carolina is weird. There's one thing to be
said about Brunswick - at least its all broken down into neighborhoods
and you know where to expect the trailers and riff raff to pop up.

NO WAY

First Doctor Who is going to be coming out (I wonder what the tardis is going to look like!!!), then I read about Wallace and Gromit making it to the big screen, and now there is this:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon has signed the dotted line to do Wonder Woman the movie! How cool is that. Regardless of whether or not you dug BTVS, Joss Whedon is an AWESOME writer and he's probably one of the only ones I'd trust to do this properly.  Check out the deets at www.themovieinsider.com

Crackin' Good Toast Gromit

I'm SO excited about this - of course my strange British humor tends to prevail at times - but if you've never checked out Wallace & Gromit, you must do so!

For those of you that are already fans - Courtesy Slashdot: blamanj writes "Aardman Studios have release the first peek (Quicktime) at the new Wallace & Gromit film, Curse of the Wererabbit. Currently scheduled for an October release, the slightly-less-than dynamic duo will be putting their talents to work chasing a were-rabbit that threatens the town's vegetables. Ralph Fiennes and Helena Bonham Carter supply lead vocals. Character creator Nick Park co-directs his story."

And the link: http://www.dreamworks.com/trailers/wg/specials/wg_makingof_qt_352.mov

It's Cristy's Fault!

Okay so Cristy posted this cool website on her blog -- It tells you what songs were
number one on any given day of the year. I searched my birthday and it
totally freaked me out...

The number one song on the American
Charts was "Rain Drops Keep Fallin' on my Head" by B.J. Thomas - What is
freaky about this is, that was my favorite song when I was a kid (that
and "Tie a Yellow Ribbon"). So what, did I hear this thing on the way
home from the hospital after being born and it stuck with me? Thats wild.
WILD MAN!

Beeping Televisions

Okay, maybe I don't understand how things work. Or maybe I do... Maybe I should hold this idea to myself and see if I can patent it or somehow come up with the machinery to do it myself and make millions... but alas I don't have the means or the time so I'm going to have to give this idea away for free...

I was watching George Lopez' stand up comedy act the other night and I was really irritated at the constant censorship beeps. So it got me to wondering...Why can't someone come up with a feature on televisions that will beep out curse words? Something that parents can enable and can even add or remove words as they see fit. I dunno, maybe they don't like the phrase "poopy head" -- they can add it to the blocked word list. This way, the rest of us can watch a show without the irritating and disruptive bleeps while those who have small children (who probably shouldn't have this show playing in the first place) can turn on the bad word blocker. Then we're all happy! I dunno, just a thought.

I'm Broke!

Okay so I solved the little "fire" problem I had. While I could have certainly tried splicing and electrical tape on the offending cable, the spot where the cord was frayed and where the fire took place was actually deep into the connector. Granted I did try! Only I didn't like the lovely zapping sound that was still emitting from beneath the electrical tape and really didn't feel like "testing" this on my Mac so I chucked it across the room and resigned myself to the fact that I not only needed to purchase a new one at 80.00 but get the sucker here as fast as possible (fed ex overnight at another 14.00)... This on the cusp of paying over 400.00 in vet bills for my dog and 170.00 in new contact lenses for myself. And we don't want to talk about how sad my tax return is this year. But I wanna know, who did I piss off and why are the computer gnomes freaked out at me that they're causing me so much grief. Is it in the moon, stars, air... Am I the only one experiencing all these weird computer/electronic related problems? Oh and let me finish with this - I hopped into bed last night and put in the second disc of the last season of Angel and my portable DVD player went black on me. I had to jiggle the cord to get it to come back on. Can we all see where this is going to wind up???

It's Getting Hot In Here

So I was working on my computer from the comfy recliner when I
noticed I was running low on battery power. So, like any normal person,
I came back in to my office to plug in my laptop and give it some
juice. At this point I noticed the cable was really warm and an odd
look came over my face as it began to spark! Doing the smart thing I
reached down to unplug it from the powerstrip as I witnessed it
literally catch fire... yes there were flames! MMMhmmmmm... it caught
fire!!! Once unplugged I blew the fire out and enjoyed the lovely
stench of electrical burning and then pondered how I was going to finish my work when I have a dead battery and no means
of recharging.

Guess I'm getting that 80.00 replacement cable a little sooner than I
thought.

Good gravy!!! Can you believe that???

DYNO-MITE

Okay if you haven't seen this film yet (Napoleon Dynamite) you've GOT to! And make sure you watch it realizing it's totally stupidly genius! And after you watch it once, watch it again. You'll enjoy it more the second time. Be sure to check out the film short on the features too. Why? Because it's good! GOSH!

I SWEAR I didn't plan this!

You're a Pint of Guinness!


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My New Code - I AM a dork!

if (thirsty = bad_beer) {
goto = guinness();
} else {
not.so.brilliant;
}
end

Advances

The other day I was out and about in my small town and walking into a shop when I had this guy walk up to me and start asking me all kinds of questions about my Mini Cooper. "Does it handle well?" he asks. "Like a charm." I reply. "Is it good on gas?" he questions further. "Yeah very good, but for the fact that it requires premium fuel." was my response. "How much it cost?" and I rattle off the figure. "It's a pretty color" he says with a smile, "matches your eyes." Yes... truly... (Note: It is important to point out that my car is dark green (not red or yellow)).

Computer Geek


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I Want My TECH TV

Some of you faithful readers are also fellow nerds. That's what I love about you kids. You know that I have dreams about Steve Jobs, that I think no one tops Patrick Norton in a utilikilt, that I pay homage to Yoshi and his modding abilities and I would run away with Leo Laporte in a minute (if he were not otherwise entangled of course).

So when I found out that Mr. Leo has a podcast, I danced a little jig in my jammies. Hey, I've been working 24/7 on computers and sites these days that I hardly have time to get dressed and shower! So what was my point? Oh yeah - Leo Laporte and his podcast...I was so excited to find this thing!!! I feel back in touch with the old world of TechTV before it became--well, to coin a phrase from my five year old niece who picked up on my brother's foul language--a SUCK FEST! You can tune into Leo and his wonderful words of computer wisdom. Hear his fun jokes and listen in as he interviews Patrick, Yoshi and other equally interesting folks. It's just a whole lot a joy tickling 'round your geeky spots! So check it out. More info on Leo and his world can be found at www.Leoville.com and for all the gory deets about Siren Rebellion see: www.scorerocks.com/radio.html.

Who Is Cheap Trick

I won't mention his name, even though I feel that not having a working knowledge of the band Cheap Trick should cause one to suffer public humliation, I'll be nice. How is it possible that someone can sing the praises of Sting and Phil Collins but confess to having no idea who Cheap Trick is?? I start to belt out a few lines of "Dream Police" and "I Want You To Want Me" and he stares at me blankly. Is it his youth? No, it can't be, as we said, he's a fan of Sting and old Phil Collins/Genesis... Someone needs to explain this to me! Until that time I've strapped him to the chair and pressed play on the CD player and contemplated slipping in the new DVD... Sheese Louise!!!

Geek Haiku - Awesome!

A sad story line
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